Worry vs Concern

When we care about something or someone, at some point we worry.

We fear that we may not get what we need or that our dreams may not come to fruition, or that we may lose the love of the people we care about, or worse. And so we worry. And our worry tells us to go deeper into thinking about everything that could go wrong, it tells us to feel afraid and awful (even though the thing we worry about hasn’t actually happened), and it tells us to hold on to what is so that what we worry about never comes to pass (even though ‘what is’ is an uncomfortable and unhappy state of worry and fear).

It tells us to limit ourselves, to shrink down, to close back inwards – rather than extend outwards with wisdom, exploration and courage. Worry tells us to avoid life, even though the very thing it is trying to protect is a great life for ourselves and those whom we love.

So when we worry about our health, we make ourselves sick with worry.

When we worry about our children, we tell them to lose confidence in themselves.

When we worry about our loved ones, we hold them back from doing the things they love.

When we worry about money, we forget all the ways in which our inherent talents can serve the world and be rewarded in return.

When we worry about making a good impression, we lose sight of the truth of what we want to express which naturally speaks to others.

When we worry about being appreciated, we abandon our power to create what we would love simply because that is who we are and how we love it to be!

Worry is all about avoiding an outcome that we don’t want. It doesn’t concern itself with what we love. And Worry only ever tells us to put all our attention into worrying further!

We can either be worried about what we don’t want, or we can concern ourselvs with what we love

We MUST concern ourselves with the people and things we love.

But being concerned about the welfare of our loved ones includes an acceptance of our fear that we may one day lose them.

But that doesn’t mean we imprison them or live each day in panic. It means we must allow them to flourish, sometimes by stepping forward to support them, and sometimes by stepping back and taking our fears and ideals out of the way. It means we must express our heart with them, and allow them to express themselves in all forms that that may take. The only thing we really need to concern ourselves with is finding our way back to love and support, even when we are afraid that things won’t go the way we want them to.

Being concerned with the things we love includes our own wellbeing and our impact in the world.

But concern doesn’t mean desperation, which takes the form of either working ourselves into the ground or giving up. Being concerned about what we truly love includes stepping back to take a look at what our vision really is, and why we want it. It takes the wisdom to know what the best action is now (sometimes that wisdom might tell us do less, sometimes it might tell us to do more, and other times it may tell us to take a path we hadn’t seen before). And it takes the courage to follow that wisdom with humility, knowing that what we love may not come to pass exactly how or when we want it.  

As the Baz Luhrmann song goes, “…worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing Bubble gum.”

To create the great life that we would love (and deep down, our worry wants for us, too), all we really need to concern ourselves with are two questions:

“What would I truly love, beyond all my fears and doubts?”

and “What can I do in this moment to seed that love?”

Worry won’t even be a part of your equation.